By: がぶ
SMASH BATTLE
By Austin James Art
T-shirt is only available for 24 hours at The Yetee!
GET IT BEFORE IT’S GONE!!!
I ordered two!
Since they’re so stuck on making Metroid stages in SSB with overly chaotic lava spewing all over the place (how Bowser’s Castle hasn’t become a stage yet is beyond me) it is insane that Tourian hasn’t become a stage, as that probably is the source of most of their inspiration for all that lava.
At the very least drawing some inspiration from the colors and those tilesets so it actually brings back memories of something Metroid. Having a series of platforms above a pool of non-lethal lava which only drains health from you gradually while you can stand semi-submerged in it would actually be an original and neat mechanic, as opposed to just a bunch of deadly lava gushing all over violently.
Also a great way to fit in the mind-bogglingly neglected Mother Brain. As well as her astounding boss theme.
I feel like Goldeen in SSB is just a mistake. Like somebody who doesn’t know pokemon put it in there instead of Magikarp.
Stop and look at these pieces of crap. I feel like no one who’s worked on a SSB title has ever played a Metroid game.
Four generic “Zebes” stages across each SSB, none of which remotely resembles anything from Metroid. I mean what even is that wriggling growth in the background of Melee Brinstar? What even are those breakable circle things? Why is that Chozo statue so small and why does it get up and walk around, but not in the same way as a Torizo? In what part of Metroid did you hide from lava in a box? and what part of Prime did the room flip itself upside down?
Oh and what does Metroid music sound like again? ah nevermind I’ll look up some sheet music online and run it through an orchestral soundfont. Oh still gotta fill things out, better rip the sound off this Metroid Prime trailer. what? it still has the audio track of some narrator rambling out the synopsis of the game? sure the kids will love that.
